I have first hand experience in how life can change in the most unexpected way and your world can be turned on its arse. However I am so thankful that I was brave enough to leave my marriage and that there were no children caught in the aftermath. Even though it was extremely amicable a split, children would have changed that I’m sure. Although I know that I would have never had children with him. Without that huge part of my life, I would never have been with my Peter. And from our love we have created the most amazing little boy that has changed our relationship in a way I never thought possible and made it stronger than ever.
Throughout the pregnancy I felt so much love for Pete, everytime he kissed my belly and talked to the baby I felt so proud that I was carrying his child. Even though it was highly embarrassing sometimes especially before the bump was particularly prominent and it looked like he was talking to my crotch. The defining moment for me was when I went into hospital to be induced, he was with me every minute he could be and I became dependant on him more than I ever have been anyone other than my momma. It was such an incredible surge of love and need that I can’t even find the words to describe. When I was I surgery for my c section I got to a point after having the anaesthetic that I was terrified they were going to start without him and I was so surprised by the words that came out of my mouth “where’s my Pete, I need my Pete” words that I’d merely thought at that point let alone verbalise. In he came tho, my hero, in his hideous peach scrubs haha!
You know the rest from my previous Frankie post but reflecting on all that I can’t imagine us ever being apart. After going through what we went through together, the journey, the trauma, the harsh first few months; I couldn’t ever imagine him not being my other half. I know our experience is by no means exclusive to us and I know things change and shit happens. But that experience and our little boy has bonded us eternally. Irrevocably.
I want to be clear that I am judging no one, except those scumbags that cheat on their pregnant partners cos they need huge judgement, this is just my opinion. As I said I know that life happens and things change beyond comprehension. We have talked about what would happen if we split and depending on the circumstances I would hope that we could keep it as amicable as possible for Frankie’s sake. But for my sake, I hope that it never comes to that, I hope this little family is my forever. I need them, I need my Peter. Don’t tell him tho cos he’s got a big enough head as it is.